When The Sun Burns

#''When The Sun Burns,'' //An Short Interactive Experience // by Christian Husband you might find that everything you ''love'' will go up in flames. [[I know. ]]

And the sins of the past will burn you alive. Take heed. [[And take caution.]]

Because flying too close to [[the heat,]] ''too close to me. ''

May leave you trapped in a ^^''[[bottomless sea.]]''^^

#Are you ready, little flame? [[Do I have a choice?]] ~~No, you don't. ~~ Don't drown for them, ^^because you really can't make anyone happy can you?^^ Don't snuff out your bright light. (text-rotate-x:56)[Take it from me. ]

//Little flame, allow me to guide you through this flawed world. Remember—do not get snuffed out. Under any circumstance necessary. // You stare at the elderly figure in the hospital bed. The pungent smell of the ward makes your eyes water—curdled milk mixed with shoe polish. They look like they are rotting away, nowhere close to the pillar of strength you remember them as. Gaunt face. Empty expression. You search for any sign of recognition in their eyes—they look right through you. What will you do,// little flame? // * [[Break down into tears.]] * [[Attempt to tell a familar joke to jog their memory.]] * [[Enjoy the silence.]] * [[I won't choose.]]

Hey, ''why'' are you crying? There's no need to cry. I'm here. ''I'm here. '' * [[Continue to cry.]] * [[This is not fair.]] ''Hey, you're making him uspet. He doesn't know what's going on. Can you stop please? ''

You sit at the edge of the bed—its creaking springs a weak protest under your weight. You study the elderly figure—familiar, yet distant. Skin, paper-thin, stretched over fragile bones. You take a shaky breath. “Hey, Grandpa,” you say, your voice soft, trembling. No response comes. Just the slow rise and fall of their chest. You force a smile, though it feels hollow. “Remember how you used to say I couldn’t tell a joke to save my life? Let’s see how I do now." You pause. More for yourself than for them. "I've decided to change my sleep schedule. From now, I'll be getting up from the crack of dawn. I think this will be a breeze." No reaction. Their gaze drifts to the far wall, unseeing. "After all, you know that I love getting up on time." The dry punchline comes out with a faint laugh from you, too small to [[fill the space.]]

//Ah, silence. Peaceful. Quiet.// //Quiet as the few fragments they have left fade away.// //It is also a refusal to come to terms with reality, little flame. And that is what tears you up from within. The guilt. That you stand to the side and let things happen. That you aren't strong enough to save people from themselves.// * [[That's not fair.]] * [[Maybe you're right.]]

#No, little flame. You ''must choose''. You must burn bright, to the ''very edge''. If you don't, who else will because really ^^everything is on your shoulders and you really can't make anyone happy or satifised can you?^^ (text-rotate-x:56)[Take it from me. ] [[Do I have a choice?]] ~~No, you don't. ~~

#Fair, little flame? You're ''the light.'' Without you, darkness creeps in. There is no time nor space for fairness. You ''must make these calls.'' [[Do I have a choice?]] ~~No, you don't. ~~ If you don't, who else will because really ^^everything is on your shoulders, the weight of the world brings you to your knees and you really can't make anyone happy or satifised or fufilled can you?^^ (text-rotate-x:56)[Take it from me. ] (text-rotate-x:56)[Take it from me. ] (text-rotate-x:56)[Take it from me. ]

#Shoulders of Atlas [[Atlas]], the ''god-Titan'' billows of cloud resting on his back so the sky falls with him. ''I wonder if I will break.'' even with my shoulders of Atlas there’s stress that ensues problems that affect me from you calls that I want to miss busted lip with a lisp rolling at night can’t sleep eyes barren can’t weep Can’t cry. ''lord knows I’ve tried.'' lord knows I’ve sinned. See Atlas: we’re both //chained// sweatin’ and sufferin’ weight of expect— tations, yes. I am jealous of you you’re a diligent //motherfucker // but ''your perseverance '' [[isn't mine.]]

For a moment, ''nothing.'' Then you catch it—a flicker. Their lips twitch. A breath, soft and unsteady, escapes them. Is it a sigh? Or something more? You lean closer, holding onto hope with trembling fingers. A sound. Barely audible. Your heart catches in your throat. Did they hear you? (text-rotate-x:185)[[Do they still know you?]]] You laugh too, the sound mixing with the tears that blur your vision. It's not exactly what you remember, but it's enough. //What will you do now, little flame? Will you tell another joke? And another? Until the ember grows brighter—or until the cold creeps in.// * Fine. I'll tell another joke to [[fill the space.]] * [[I won't choose.]] * [[That's not fair.]]

#Please Leave Me A Message ''I did. '' after the beep detailing this hilarious joke I heard had me doubled over and weak bit of a phantom call though, he died. yesterday. [[beep.]] I //am//[[Atlas]].

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Beep. Beep. Beep. He's getting worse. Go visit him again. [[Do I have a choice?]] ~~No, you don't. ~~

Beep. Beep. He's having a ''good'' day today. You should go visit him. [[Do I have a choice?]] ~~No, you don't. ~~

They squeeze your hand gently. They know how ''rough'' it's been on you seeing your grandfather succumb to dementia. They know they can never find the [[right words]] to comfort you. So, they sit outside the ward each time, waiting for you to finish. They know by your expression as soon as you leave whether it's been a good or bad day. Sitting down in the living room, they ask you whether you plan to visit him today. [[Let's talk first.]] [[Do I have a choice?]] ~~No, you don't. ~~ If you don't, who else will because really ^^everything is on your shoulders, the weight of the world brings you to your knees and fucking everything goes to pieces when you are invovled and you really can't make anyone happy or satifised or fufilled can you?^^

#You are quite overwhelmed, little flame. //Perhaps we should revisit this another day.// *[[GET ME OUT OF HERE.]] *[[Okay, let's do that.]]

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Memory is reduced dementia characteristics MRIs cost Research language the exercise routines solutions significant concept with reflecting type or experience [[Do I have a choice?]] Yes, you ''do. ''

#Good, little flame. //This is your destiny.// (text-rotate-x:56)[Take it from me. ] (text-rotate-x:56)[Take it from me. ] (text-rotate-x:56)[Take it from me. ] (text-rotate-x:56)[Take it from me. ] (text-rotate-x:56)[Take it from me. ] (text-rotate-x:56)[Take it from me. ] [[Do I have a choice?]] ~~No, you don't. ~~ (text-rotate-x:56)[Take it from me. ] (text-rotate-x:56)[Take it from me. ] (text-rotate-x:56)[Take it from me. ] (text-rotate-x:56)[Take it from me. ] (text-rotate-x:56)[Take it from me. ] (text-rotate-x:56)[Take it from me. ] (text-rotate-x:56)[Take it from me. ] (text-rotate-x:56)[Take it from me. ] (text-rotate-x:56)[Take it from me. ]

#Must Be Black Love when'' you hurt '' i hurt too my pain is not repressed saw it in my folks too so when you say you regret and tears stain my sweats i’d say, don’t ''mess with baggage '' there’s too much to carry. they’d say, doh ''dam de bridge '' yuh have to cross. damn, we’re all broken beyond repair. shh, it’s okay. [[''kiss me.'']]

Then suddenly you both were kissing, tongues entwined in a feverish desperation. The tartness of their breath—once repulsing—had now grown into something you strangely enjoyed. [[Love you.]]

They sigh. They are //trying // their best to be patient with you. After all, you were there for them ''every step of the way'' when their mom died. That loss is still something that still lingers to this day. But it is ''hard'' being your partner right now. They ''miss'' who you used to be—everything is consumed by// him// now. They ''know'' it’s unfair. They ''know'' their feelings are selfish. But that’s how they feel. If they're being honest with you, they've thought about leaving you. Or at least taking a break. * [[Apologize.]] * [[Lash out.]] * [[Cry.]]

You sit them down, apologizing and vowing to do better. You know that despite your grief, you have not been the best partner lately. The words feel empty though—you know there is truly no moving on until he is gone. Seemingly unconvinced, they ask you whether you are going to see him tomorrow. [[Do I have a choice?]] ~~No, you don't. ~~

You feel the anger leaping into your throat, and venomous words fly from your lips. You know this isn't fair. You're taking out your pain on them. Never the [[right words]] to express that you are hurting. You remember your grandfather having a wicked temper [[too.]] Memories drag you back.

I love you, [[too.]]

"Promise me something." You stare up at your grandfather, legs swinging back and forth on the pier. The salty water splashes onto your ankles. You see his brows wrinkle as his lip twitches. "I know I'm getting old." You nod. That's an undeniable fact. "My memory isn't as good. We both know that. It's only a matter of time." You can only nod. "Promise me you'll treat me no different, son." * [[GET ME OUT OF HERE.]] * [[This is not fair.]] * [[I promise.]] [[I love you.]]

#And the cycle continues, little flame. Hey, grandson. Grandson. I know you. I know...you. You. You? What was your name again? Hmph. Are you here to give me those meds again? I said I was fine. Fuck you, motherfucker. If you touch my kid again, I'll ''fuck you up''! [[(muffled silence.)]]

"I love you too, kid. I know I'm asking a lot of you. But promise me. I already know they are going to want to drag me out the back. I'm just asking you to treat me like you always do, even if I'm...not fully there." (text-rotate-y:37)+(text-rotate-z:28)[Because If you don't, who else will because really ^^everything is on your shoulders, the weight of the world brings you to your knees everything starts and ends with you and honestly you're sick and tired of it all and you you just want to end it all and suffocate completely until your face is purple and fucking everything goes to pieces when you are invovled and you really can't make anyone happy or satifised or fufilled can you?^^] * [[GET ME OUT OF HERE.]] *[[I promise.]]

It's getting hard for him to place faces, sweetie. ~~Just keep trying. ~~ Keep trying. ~~Just keep trying. ~~ Keep trying. (whispering) ~~Just keep trying. ~~ Keep trying. He doesn't even know me. I'm his first born daugther, dammit. What the fuck. ~~Just keep trying. ~~ Keep trying. (choked back tears)~~Just keep trying. ~~ Keep trying. [[Grandpa?]]

Grandson. //It's okay. // You don't have to see me anymore. I fucking died a while ago anyway. I'm just a stupid, empty husk. Mocking you all. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. [[GET ME OUT OF HERE.]] [[Do I have a choice?]] ~~No, you don't. ~~